Relationships Are A Marathon Not A Sprint. Here’s How To Pace Yours

When starting a new relationship, it’s only natural to start thinking about what the future might hold. But the road from first attraction to pure devotion is one of the most exciting that anyone can experience, which is why you must learn to appreciate.

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There’s no rush to achieve those long-term goals, and you certainly won’t want to put added pressure on yourselves during those early moments. First dates can be scary, especially if you’ve met online, but try to focus on being yourself and having a good time. If nothing romantic comes from it, then it wasn’t meant to be. It’s better to wait for someone that you can act naturally around rather than transforming your personality to satisfy them.

 A great first day will naturally fill you with huge optimism for what lies ahead. At this stage, you’ll probably read lots of articles and speak to lots of people about how quickly things should progress. Frankly, there is no one right answer for everyone. Your ages, backgrounds, and life situations will all carry a huge influence. Ultimately, the key is to take things forward at a speed that works for you.

 Progress in a relationship takes many forms, but physical intimacy is the one that will probably play on your mind. While neither party should feel pressured into having sex until they’re ready, there should be no guilt about wanting it. However, the vast majority of new couples won’t want to become parents – at least not yet. Even if you missed taking your contraceptive pill, there are ways to minimize the chances of conceiving. Unless you are 100% sure that you’re both ready to make this type of commitment, it’s vital that you do.

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Another vital thing to remember during your relationship, particularly the early days, is to stay in touch with friends. Regular contact with those people is crucial for balance and long-term happiness. Losing touch with them might not feel so bad right now as you have the excitement of fresh love to keep you occupied. Still, you will need those friendships as time progresses. Besides, keeping them in your lives will encourage them to feel positive about your partner. You may even find that your two groups of pals can become one big clan. Oh, and if things do go wrong, your buddies will be there to pick up the pieces.

Throughout the phase of initial attraction, you will inevitably overlook each other’s faults. In truth, those quirks are often what makes a person special, and they can become a key focus of attraction. Then again, it’s important to find out whether your conflicting interests and views could become an issue. Without sitting down and interrogating each other, it’s important to understand each other fully. After all, you may have some viewpoints that simply cannot be compromised. Regardless of how beautiful other parts of the partner’s personality might be.

Nonetheless, accepting bad habits is another crucial part of building a healthy relationship. Over time, this is one area where you can help each other grow into better people. You won’t necessarily overcome every little issue. But improving yourselves as a couple is unquestionably one of the greatest things about being in a loving relationship.

Those processes can start almost as soon as the first phase of dating evolves into a serious relationship. However, things will be stepped up a notch when you start to cohabit. Moving in together is a bigger deal for some couples than it is for others, with age and experience playing a huge role in most people’s outlook on this. Either way, it’s important that you consider these key factors when moving in together. Whether one person is moving in with the other or you build a new home together, it’s imperative that you’re both happy.

Of course, this step will take on another sense of responsibility if children are involved. By this time, the kids should be comfortable in the company of the new partner. Moreover, they should be given some time to digest the information before it happens. Keep them excited by promising them a newly decorated room or a similar treat, and it should make the transition far smoother.

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Even when you’ve been together for months or years, there will be many milestones along your journey to happy ever after. These can include the first holiday, meeting the extended family, and many other issues. Healthy couples will learn to love each of those magical moments, using them as a way to continually build a stronger bond over time. Frankly, that ability to become closer each day is the hallmark of a couple that stays together.

Dedicating yourself to another human being is one of the most beautiful things in the world, especially when the love is reciprocated. Nonetheless, your relationship cannot consume every element of your life. It’s important for each of you to maintain personal goals and passions. Otherwise, you’ll never be fully happy.

Of course, you can enjoy some of those hobbies together too. Whether it’s a love of music or getting fit, sharing those parts of your world is wonderful. Still, there’s nothing wrong with having a little time to pursue interests that your partner has no interest in. Ultimately, a happy couple should support and complete each other. That doesn’t mean you need to be the same person.

Love can grow at a frighteningly fast pace and the years will soon start to fly by. You’ll have a lifetime to reminisce on those early moments, so don’t feel forced into rushing them. Take your relationship at a pace that’s comfortable for you, and it’ll stand a far better chance of lasting.


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45 thoughts

  1. Important warnings for our future. I love reading the letter. Thank you very much

  2. Thank you for today’s informative article, at 66 I’m embarking on a new/another, relationship, and it’s nice to have some written words to help guide me along the “forgotten path”….

  3. Some very good points, and I love the part where you said that “Dedicating yourself to another human being is one of the most beautiful things in the world”, I think the same. Great post!!
    Caz x

  4. One of the most amazing things that I have read on relationships with so much maturity. There is a need for space while being together and one should never keep away from friends. Agree, sex shouldn’t be about guilt or else it takes away the love.

  5. oh! ula. how wonderful this blog was.
    loved it so so much, although i haven’t found anyone yet in my life but
    still your post was insightful. with love xx

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