Family arrangements can be difficult to deal with from time to time, and for all manner of reasons. While it’s true that the people you consider family don’t have to be blood related, when they are blood related, it can throw up all manner of closer bonds and even worse fallouts.
It’s not uncommon to have people in your family you’re closer to than others. Unfortunately, sometimes that latter category might include children. Or, as will be the scope of this post, it may be that they don’t talk to one another. Maybe they were from different marriages and simply didn’t experience childhood together, or maybe other circumstances have led to a rift.
This can make estate planning all the more difficult. After all, most legal professionals will recommend you arrange your will for the state of affairs you have now, not necessarily what you predict will happen as you age. Unfortunately, tomorrow is never promised, so this is the best way to prepare.
But how do you prepare in such circumstances? In this post, I hope to help you:
Define The Beneficiaries
No matter the context, the best approach is always to be absolutely clear about who gets what in your will. When there is any kind of rift between your children, ambiguity is the last thing you need because it can leave room for arguments and people interpreting what you say differently. It’s better to state exactly what percentage or what specific asset goes to each child.
This removes the vagueness and the ability for one child to claim they were entitled to something the other one received. Your goal should also be to make the document completely bulletproof so that your wishes are respected without question. This is a foremost function of good estate planning law so taking this time now can save your children years of fighting and worse relationships that might end for good.
Use A Testamentary Trust
Setting up a trust is also a healthy way to manage your assets if you know your children might not cooperate or if one of them is financially irresponsible. You can appoint a neutral, professional trustee, like a bank or a lawyer, to manage the assets according to the rules you set out.
This means the trustee handles the money and gives it out over time or under certain conditions, completely bypassing the need for your feuding children to interact about the inheritance and making that disagreement worse. Moreover, a trust can be structured to make sure everyone gets their share but still keep them separate and preventing one from holding up the process for the others. It’s an effective layer of protection and some do have to use it.
Document Your Intent
You should also consider writing a letter of instruction that is separate from your formal will. This letter isn’t legally binding in the way your will is, but it explains your reasoning for the decisions you made, especially regarding the division of assets between children who don’t speak. Especially if one is getting more than the other, such as most of your assets going to the person you’ve been closest to for decades, which is entirely fair. It’s your money after all.
Explaining your perspective, even if they disagree with it, can at least provide clarity and potentially reduce the sting of any perceived unfairness after you’re gone. Just make sure it doesn’t contradict what you actually put in the will.
With this advice, I hope you can more easily manage estate planning even with estranged kids.
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