Taking That Step Into Engagement – Is Now The Right Time?

If you’ve learned anything from our content, it’s that with the right attitude and a lot of love, you can make the best of anything. For that reason, it’s important to consider how these attitudes could sometimes soften your cold heart and let you consider the future in the correct possible manner. It could be that you are in a loving relationship, and have been for some time now. However, more and more you are feeling the pressure for a proposal, because you know this is an eventuality you both want, no matter how ‘cool’ you’ve been about it.

But how do you know if this is the right choice? What if not everything is perfect right now? What if you don’t want to make this decision lightly, which of course, is a wise way of looking at things? What if you’re unsure of how to progress, or how to even get in touch with what you truly want?

All of these questions are worth thinking about, and can truly make a difference in the long term. But I would also recommend this essential insight to that end:

You Can’t Imagine Life Without Them

While I’m not here to judge the lifestyle decisions you make, it is often known that engagement means a precursor to a wedding, or at least a declaration that this is the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with. If there is any doubt about that at all, then it’s worth delaying or even nullifying the proposal. It sounds quite harsh to imagine, but it can only save you both pain and damage in the long term.

In fact, the best marker to counter this is that you simply cannot live your life without them, or imagine doing so well. Be careful though. Being codependent doesn’t always mean they are your true love. A partner should not make you complete, you should complete one another. This is the healthiest way to consider how your relationship is progressing, and what excellent ideals you might utilize for that in the future.

They Are Financially Responsible

You needn’t be financially tied together already, but it’s important to know that you can trust them with money. That they are open and honest about their accounts and spending, that they haven’t or you haven’t any difficult spending issues, that you have a decent amount saved in the bank (even a humble amount still counts) and that you haven’t any incredibly taxing responsibilities to take care of (unemployed and struggling to feed your family is often not a great time for a proposal), can ensure that you have everything correctly considered. This can ensure that your investment in beautiful engagement rings will be well placed.

It’s Not For Healing

Unfortunately, some relationships think that getting married or having a baby will resolve the issues they are experiencing. This is not the case. They only put more strain on the relationship, despite having their clear and quite lovely benefits. Ideally, you shouldn’t have had a large argument or bust-up with your partner at all, and if so one mustn’t have occurred for years now. You might both have passionate personalities, but no household is helped by two volatile people signing themselves to become even more interlinked. A sense of tranquil stability should be felt.

In other words – romantic love is a beautiful thing, but it shouldn’t actually be considered the only worthwhile metric of two people getting married. Romantic love is something that often requires something from the other, or is quite jealous and passionate about them. Instead, you should wish to ALSO be best friends with them. You need to trust them wholeheartedly. Friendship is often a purer form of love than romantic love, because it gives and asks nothing in return. If you can enjoy both of these, then it shows that you have a great relationship worth maintaining and caring about.

There’s Often No Rush

Your partner would often feel much better knowing that now is the time you would love to get engaged to them, but they’d rather it feels right for you instead of feeling pressured into it. When it comes to these milestone moments we can often think of the ‘common knowledge’ that everyone has when giving advice, but what is right for you? What is right for your partner? You know them better than anyone else, and they you. Allow things to feel natural. Rushing helps no one.

With this advice, I wish you the best in your proposal efforts and timing.

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19 thoughts

  1. Wise words, dear Ula, and you and V seem to have done it exactly right!
    I married my first husband mainly because of fear to be left on the shelf, one of the most stupid reasons to get married. It went accordingly … 😉

  2. Thanks, Ula. Wise advice from someone who already has been there, and who has managed the process successfully.

    Every stage of the relationship brings challenges, but few are more daunting than are those found in the transition from temporary to permanent.

    You’re someone who know what’s she’s discussing, as you’ve been there already.

  3. I just got engaged to my best friend and I couldn’t be happier. I think the key thing to us getting here has been trusting each other, and friendship. Romantic love is great but I believe the friendship we continue to cultivate is what keeps us going. It is true that it’s important to not become codependent and I am happy to have found someone who is in so many ways my opposite yet feels familiar (cheesy right?) The consequence of this love is my fiance is now my muse haha and ends up on my blog way more than I thought he would haha. Great, great post!

    1. Congratulations!!! It all changes (when it comes to the blog) and all the best for you both! 🙂💕

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